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PennyG

PennyG

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Shiver

Shiver - Maggie Stiefvater Who is publishing these horribly written YA novels? Who? (every publisher, ever) And more importantly, why? (for tons of cash)

First off, I didn't finish this book. I couldn't finish this book. I couldn't get 1/4 of the way through, even though I have the audiobook. Actually not only is this book boring as hell but the audiobook was poorly cast (more on that later). This is another book I picked up because of the pretty cover. *kicking self, a lot*

I have to admit the premise sounded interesting--not long before this book crossed my path I'd finished reading Blood and Chocolate, which is, overall, somewhat enjoyable even if it is a little weird--so I just had to read it. But guess what? Not an interesting story. Not even kind of.

The coupling in this book? Bizarre. Boring--I mean, really boring.

Sam doesn't think like a guy. Not even a little. Sam thinks like a woman. A really boring older woman. No guy throws on a puffy coat and thinks "I look like a blimp in this thing." No heterosexual guy. No way. Not ever. I can't help but wonder if Sam ever gets around to asking Grace if his pants make his butt look fat. But I digress.

Grace is Boring. Not only that but she's also insipid, and irritating. Did I mention mind-numbingly boring? So just to review: Grace: She's Bella Swan's evil, but oh-so-very-boring twin.

And the character named Isabella (I think that's her name), that, like, pisses herself? WTF??? WHY? Seriously, WHY? It's because of the pissing scene that I stopped paying attention to the audio book. Sure, every once in a while I caught snippets of the story. But none of it was interesting. So eventually I turned it off and cursed Audible for having a no return policy--sure, it totally makes sense. But still.

Tangent: Look, I wasted one of my audible credits on this piece of trash. I can't resell it, or even trade it for something better. I'm pissed.

Speaking of the audio book: like I said earlier it was horribly cast. The female narrator sounds like a fourteen-year-old girl. And the male narrator sounds like my old elementary school gym coach. The one that sorta looked like a child molester--you know what I'm talking about, everyone had a coach like that. Everyone.

Needless to say, the audio book gave me heebies from the get go. I couldn't help but picture some ninth grade girl--because, like I said, she sounds quite young--flirting with her disgusting teacher (who has a mustache and wears tiny gym shorts). I'm still traumatized.

So yeah, I advise you don't read this book. And definitely don't buy the audio book. If you do, don't say I didn't warn you.

That is all.